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“Saturday Night Live” torched the White House’s aggressively edited release of files related to Jeffrey Epstein in a merciless version of the president’s festive address to the nation during this weekend’s cold open.

“Why do you put your name on so many buildings? We had to remove it from so many files,” he asked. “We had so many Trumps there that we had to put them somewhere.”

Addressing the scandalously redacted document head-on, Johnson’s Trump boasted: “We’ve released all the files and I come out looking, frankly, very good.”

Saturday night live

“We had to redact some sensitive things, but you’ll get the gist here,” he said, showing an excerpt that consisted of a wall of text blacked out except for the words “Trump…did…nothing…bad.”

“Look, it’s all there, can you believe it?”

The sketch also savagely mocked another absurd announcement from the actual White House speech: the cross-country “Patriot Games” taking place during America’s 250th birthday next summer.

“That’s right, the White House is hosting the Patriot Games for high school athletes to compete. Because I thought, What’s the best way to distract myself from the Epstein files? Invite a bunch of teenagers to my house?”

“I’ll take ‘Things a Pedophile Could Do’ for $1,000, Alex.”

Watch “Saturday Night Live” and its very festive roast of Trump right here:

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